


Irrational

by Kaellig, Khalid



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6275410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaellig/pseuds/Kaellig, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khalid/pseuds/Khalid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>More than anything, Eli is afraid they will be caught by Jackie</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irrational

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Иррациональное](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3627411) by [Kaellig](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaellig/pseuds/Kaellig). 



> I used a combination of online translators. Any error I take responsibility for.

More than anything, Eli is afraid that they will be caught by Jackie.  
It would be much more rational and logical to fear that the voters or Peter’s children know he had been with Peter (for his daughter Eli is not concerned at all, it is almost certain that she knows everything) or that the information is leaked to the press. Instead, he wakes up at night in a cold sweat, because once he had a nightmare about Jackie.  
One thought of encountering Jackie in the corridors of the Governor's residence throws him into trembling and complete paralysis, Eli ignoring the fact that it would be quite unusual.  
He even shares his fear with Peter once. He started laughing and could not stop for a long time, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes. Eli first attempted to be indignant, but then laughed with him. It really is ridiculous. But he still can not do anything with himself.  
Peter hugged him from the back, sticking his nose in Eli’s neck, still continuing to laugh, his breath tickling his skin, causing a wave of chills and pleasant heaviness in his groin. Eli turned aside, tugging at his jacket in displeasure, smoothed his hair and looked anxiously at the door. God forbid anyone should come in.  
He carefully recalled Jackie’s schedule, wondering if she would decide today to visit her son.  
Peter sighed and returned to his seat.  
In the evening, “Is everything in place?” He asked, looking at a mountain of papers requiring signatures and not looking at Eli.  
Eli smiles warmly but quickly hides a smile before answering:  
“Of course, Peter.”

Sometimes Eli thinks about how lucky Peter is that in the scandal with prostitutes nothing worse surfaced. Despite all the talk about tolerance, society has always been more lenient to the usual adultery, rather than homosexuality. For a gay to become governor of the state, he would need a perfect reputation and crystal clear past. For a man who cheated on his wife with a prostitute, forgiveness from his wife is sufficient.  
The irony of the whole situation is that Eli’s careful protection of Peter from any political hazards itself is the main threat for him. It's unprofessional, it's stupid, it goes against all the written and unwritten rules, and if there is some special hell for the heads of administrations, there is definitely a straight road to it for Eli.  
In truth, it would be worth it to get away. Choose a replacement (a good substitute, and not another Jordan with an unpronounceable name), pack up and go somewhere far away. To Oklahoma. Or to Alaska. Or even Israel. He even tried once, but Peter did not let go - yes, and Eli did not have enough determination. He seemed to have lost it all in a few years of working with Florrick. He had never allowed himself to be tied to employers and even more so - to their families; he did not even encounter such a temptation, he simply did not take the candidates as living people: one of them was a set of political advantages and the other was their weaknesses. Peter, too, was at first just a candidate, and just as difficult - a real challenge for the talents of Eli, and he could not take it.  
Peter came to him after winning the election district attorney - after Alicia put him out of the house. Entering the apartment, he stopped, leaning against the doorframe and looking at something on the floor, slowly loosening his tie. Eli anxiously put a hand on his shoulder and asked if everything was okay. Peter looked up,staring into his eyes for a few seconds, then kissed him, hands clasped behind his head. And Eli sadly realized he had no will to resist.

He tries not to show it and makes it look as if their relationship is not personal. He was genuinely happy when Peter reconciled with Alicia, and is as sincerely disappointed when they are quarreling again. His actions have no underlying reason, as he drives away Peter's thick-headed-chicken interns or persuades him to keep away from Marilyn Garbanza. Eventually, Eli still remains in the bone head Peter administration, and his jealousy only causes outsiders to try to give advice to the Governor. No one has the right to give advice to Peter - well, except Alicia, but her advice almost always turns out to be useful, and Eli is ready to bow at her feet. He was too tired from the surrounding idiots.  
For Peter their relationship is like an application to the workers, their natural continuation. He does not feel uncomfortable talking about it, he is not concerned about the possible consequences and does not see any problem in coming to Eli after having sex with Alicia. Or vice versa. Eli even wonders if Peter was sleeping with the previous head of his campaign, but he will never ask about it. They just fuck, and then discuss the work. Nothing personal, Eli reminds himself.  
But then he catches himself in the eyes of Peter during some important meeting; or feels a fleeting touch of his hand, when Peter passes by; or he just smiles at him, suddenly and without any reason - and Eli allows himself for a moment to believe that it is something more than just sex. Only for a moment. He's a pro, dammit.

Peter is not that brilliant in bed, but in every movement there is sincerity, and it so clearly contrasts with the hypocrisy overflowing Eli’s literally crazy life. He gives up to the will of Peter’s hands, called to meet him, he bends under his heavy body, taking him deeper, and tearing a groan from him. Peter kisses him on the shoulder, strokes his ribs, exhales noisily at every jolt, and Eli is engulfed by a wave of unexpected tenderness. He closes his eyes so that Peter does not read this in his eyes, but knows that he knows everything and so — with a shiver shaking him, his muscles reflexively contract, and a muffled confused whisper flies from his lips. Eli presses into him, hugging him with both hands, and lets go only when they are both already out of breath.  
The familiar feeling of guilt rolls out almost immediately, but Eli had learned to ignore it. Peter assures him every time that no one would know about them, and Eli never one not to rely on the opinion of his candidate, allows himself to believe him, shifting the responsibility from his own shoulders to those of Peter, wider and more powerful, more reliable, more confident. More suitable for such cargo.  
Guilt over Alicia, he does not feel at all. She refused Peter and Eli thinks that, if she knew about them, she would have reacted calmly. Although he is still not in a hurry to check. Alicia still is the anchor that holds Peter’s political career, allowing it to survive any storm, and Eli is not ready to take risks.

And still most of all, Eli is afraid that they will be caught by Jackie


End file.
